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[sticky post] dear-llama

English major. Writes. 3DS/Vita gamer.

♥: Detective fiction, plot twists, literary references, rock music, video games.
※my completed games list here

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Current WIP:

Auld Lang Syne


I have been posting too much on tumblr recently. But I guess since it's tradition to post resolutions on here every year, I'll cross-post on here too. I've done the year-end round-up for 2015 on tumblr, too, so...

Well, I guess I'll just link them for future reference. I like the tagging system on here a lot better than tumblr's, tbh.

Summary of 2015 resolutions

2016 resolutions

I think I have been too disappointed in 2015 regarding various things (although I admit there were a lot of exciting and wonderful moments), that I am pretty much disillusioned now... I don't know. I still have hope, I guess, that things will change for the better, but I also feel that hope and expectation are two completely different things.


(I will be keeping a log about being here on my personal Tumblr haha, under the my Helsinki obsession and adventure in Finland tags, so check it out if you want :P)


Aug. 29th, 2015

Ahh... It's been a while.

Everything has changed, but some things are still the same...

I was feeling kind of shitty before because of all these little differences and a sense of sudden unfamiliarity + disorientation, but after wallowing all day yesterday, I'm getting used to life here again. I'm starting to feel like I belong again.

Stuttgart, you will always be my city. And one of the places that will always be a part of me. Even though you don't feel exactly like home anymore.

Aug. 27th, 2015

Back in Germany! Well. Stuck in Frankfurt for the time being, my train to Stuttgart is in a few hours and I am so bored because I am wide awake due to jet lag.

But man, it feels awesome to be back, it feels exactly like home feels.

harbour's blue

I made a new writing side blog on Tumblr yesterday. It's always on Tuesdays that I start to feel down and get hit by the overwhelming urge to write.

Basically, all I'm doing right now is writing about ice boy. Witness the depth of my angst and lovesickness (haha). I guess it is a bit embarrassing, but what the heck. I just want to have a place where I can write short things and quotes, when I don't have the time to work on full-fledged stories.

The username, "harbour's blue", doesn't really have a story behind it. It can either be read in the sense of a shade of blue (like icy blue... you know), or the shortening of a phrase like "harbour is blue". I don't know. I just chose it because the idea of it appealed to me. Plus it sounds suitably melancholic, and I was feeling pretty melancholic yesterday.

...Yeah. Check it out if you want. I will probably eventually stop pining over ice boy and write about something/someone else. :P


ha det så bra

It's been such a while since I've finished anything new, hasn't it? (The first one for this year, in fact.)

Ha Det Så Bra

If you love it, let it go. If it finds its way back, it's yours. If it doesn't...

The picture from the cover is of the harbour in Stockholm. Yeah, I really love harbours. And I think this whole bluish tint really suits the mood of the story. The title is supposed to be the Swedish equivalent of the English "take care".

So... Yeah, ice boy has left... Thus ends his chapter in my life. I'm glad we got to do a proper farewell, at least, even though I did botch up the hug, heh.

I've been writing about him a lot. I barely wrote anything in January and February at all, because I was so preoccupied with him (one of the very few times I was too interested in real life to bother with creating my own fantastical one); I only started that really long story about him in March because he was away for three weeks and I was trying to figure it all out in my head. And now... Now that he's gone for (pretty much - to me, anyway) good, I will either try to finish the stories I've started about him, or leave them aside for a little while.

Although I suspect all my male protagonists are going to start taking after him at least a little...

But all right, I have to move on with my life.

Time to pick up Auld Lang Syne and Somewhere Else again.

somewhere else

Somewhere Else
Sequel to Something Better

Summary: It was supposed to have gotten easier. After all, love is always enough... right?

Ha, I am getting so lazy with summaries these days.

The picture on the cover is from Frankfurt Airport... I know, it has nothing to do with Hamburg nor Helsinki, but I haven't been to any of those airports, so... But the cover turned out better than I expected, haha. I do love arrival boards. Too bad I didn't take a close-up of it.

Well... I decided to post this in chapters after all. I hope people don't get bored following the updates, even though I plan to update regularly... I have a feeling some of the scenes will seem very boring. Well, I mean, I think some scenes in Something Better were probably very boring, too. Heh. Ah well. I guess we'll just see. I think I'm just really uncomfortable with this series of stories because they are about issues that are a little too close to heart. But I have to write them exactly because of this reason.

Hopefully I'll be able to finish filling in the gaps in the unfinished scenes soon, because I really really need to resume writing my thesis again. (ALS as well... Damn, I haven't touched that since NaNoWriMo.)

So many things to write.

goodbye, 2014 pt.2

All right, I was overly free while waiting for tonight, so I went to make a graphic of my 2014 writing round-up. Woohoo!

Tidied up all the quotes a little, too, heh.

And this made me realise, the only months this year in which I didn't start writing something new were July and December. Not bad, eh?

All right, now off to celebrations!

maybe I'll take you where we are undefined

Crap. Now I've gone and done it again.

If you know me, you know that I am a huge huge huge... okay, what's the opposite of fan? I am greatly against sequels, especially for my own stories. I believe that sequels are the antithesis of happy endings. The first story ends 'happily ever after'... but when the sequel comes along, it contradicts that idea of 'happily ever after' and introduces more problems and such. So I am quite against sequels. But... Emilie and Aksel just wouldn't let me go. (Or rather, I suspect it's because I use Emilie as the character that I can vent all my personal issues through... but anyway.)

Funny thing, this all started because I saw a picture of a train station in Stockholm, Sweden. I was staring at it for a while, thinking that I've been there, and also thinking something along the lines of, "Ah. So this is where he grew up." Which makes no sense, because I've freaking been there... although that was before I got to know him. But anyway. That one thought in my head sort of gave me a huge swell of feelings, and before I knew it, I had written this. Ahahaha. And actually, I already have 5 or 6 (half-written) scenes for this sequel. And about 2.5k words. I don't know, the ideas just keep coming. Probably because I have been missing Germany so bad myself that everything is coming out in this story. Just like it did in the original one-shot.

Ah, well.

I really do want to visit Finland for real before I try to describe the place, though, so I don't think it will be done any time soon. Because I don't have the ability to go to Finland any time soon. So... Maybe by the time I finish this, nobody will remember I started it in the first place anymore. Haha!

Also, I need to find some way to learn Finnish for real. It's very hard to base a story in Finland without inserting some Finnish phrases occasionally. I'm so lazy, though. And Finnish is so, so hard. And there are so few resources available for Finnish. Ugh.

I swear, I keep writing these one-shots and not working on ALS even though NaNo is ending in a couple days and I've only written 7k words...