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May. 5th, 2013

[sticky post] dear-llama

English major. Writes. 3DS/Vita gamer.

♥: Detective fiction, plot twists, literary references, rock music, video games.
※my completed games list here

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Current WIP:


Auld Lang Syne





Nov. 27th, 2014

maybe I'll take you where we are undefined

Crap. Now I've gone and done it again.



If you know me, you know that I am a huge huge huge... okay, what's the opposite of fan? I am greatly against sequels, especially for my own stories. I believe that sequels are the antithesis of happy endings. The first story ends 'happily ever after'... but when the sequel comes along, it contradicts that idea of 'happily ever after' and introduces more problems and such. So I am quite against sequels. But... Emilie and Aksel just wouldn't let me go. (Or rather, I suspect it's because I use Emilie as the character that I can vent all my personal issues through... but anyway.)

Funny thing, this all started because I saw a picture of a train station in Stockholm, Sweden. I was staring at it for a while, thinking that I've been there, and also thinking something along the lines of, "Ah. So this is where he grew up." Which makes no sense, because I've freaking been there... although that was before I got to know him. But anyway. That one thought in my head sort of gave me a huge swell of feelings, and before I knew it, I had written this. Ahahaha. And actually, I already have 5 or 6 (half-written) scenes for this sequel. And about 2.5k words. I don't know, the ideas just keep coming. Probably because I have been missing Germany so bad myself that everything is coming out in this story. Just like it did in the original one-shot.

Ah, well.

I really do want to visit Finland for real before I try to describe the place, though, so I don't think it will be done any time soon. Because I don't have the ability to go to Finland any time soon. So... Maybe by the time I finish this, nobody will remember I started it in the first place anymore. Haha!

Also, I need to find some way to learn Finnish for real. It's very hard to base a story in Finland without inserting some Finnish phrases occasionally. I'm so lazy, though. And Finnish is so, so hard. And there are so few resources available for Finnish. Ugh.

I swear, I keep writing these one-shots and not working on ALS even though NaNo is ending in a couple days and I've only written 7k words...

Nov. 24th, 2014

do not go gentle into that good night



Where I Learn From My Mistakes



Summary: Who do you choose, when you find yourself caught up in a love triangle despite your best intentions? The boy your heart beats for – or the friend you’ve stood by for so long? Sometimes the choices you face aren’t so clear-cut.



Haha, I'm a couple days late with this.

I admit, I kinda rushed this before the release of Pokemon: Alpha Sapphire (and Omega Ruby) so that I could immerse myself in the game once it came out. And I have been playing madly... all of Saturday. On Friday and Sunday, I went to watch Interstellar, which has become my new favourite movie. IT IS JUST SO AWESOME. I love all the references and all the themes in it. It's like a movie that consists of everything that I love. Well, most of the things. I love love love the writing, the acting, and the directing in this. Especially the writing - this is the mark of good writing. Love the dialogue and the foreshadowing and how everything just... connects. I would love to be able to write something like that one day... Well, one day. Maybe. I've watched it twice in three days, and I feel like if someone invites me to go watch it again, I definitely would. Haha!

My all-time favourite quote:
"It's not possible."
"No... but it is necessary."

That scene in which this is said is also my favourite out of everything in this movie.

But anyway... yeah. I'm exhausted. Back to Pokemon now. And I really have to stop indulging in escapism and start my thesis again tomorrow (or technically today). I really haven't done much for NaNoWriMo since I've been writing this one-shot madly but... oh well.

Oct. 23rd, 2014

were you very sad, on the day you watched forty-four sunsets?

NaNoWriMo starts in slightly over a week's time... I'm probably going to try to participate, and work on Auld Lang Syne during that period, even though I have a lot of other one-shots that I've been itching to write more. For example: that Norwegian one-shot I started back in April this year... The one that was supposed to be about Kjell. I've changed the entire premise, changed the guy's name, and now I have about 2,908 words of it written. Probably still far, far from done. I'm kinda out of ideas for it now, though, so I'm just going to leave it for a bit before I come back to it.

More recently, I've been writing Alex's Story... a lot. Or maybe a better description of it would be Ice Boy's Story. Because it's based on Ice Boy, the Swedish guy I've been crushing on since last August, and the fact that I recently discovered my friend has been going behind my back and... trying to attract him, I suppose. Even though she knew I liked him. Hell, everyone who knows me knew I liked him. I sure have been tweeting about him enough. Anyway. I started writing the story back in June, I think, because I was going through some sort of inner struggle, since I'd found out that my friend liked him too. But I'd always felt bad about writing it, because you can't help who you like. It wasn't her fault she was interested in the same guy I was, or that she refused to help introduce me even after she'd befriended him. I understood that. But then a week ago, I found out that she's been doing all sorts of things behind my back... And after a good night of wallowing and disillusionment, I decided: to hell with it. I'm going to write it.

And so here we are. Just hit 8,000 words a couple minutes ago, and it's still going strong. My stories are just getting longer and longer these days... Sneak peak (even though this excerpt is outdated, because I've already fleshed out this scene):


I think most of the story so far is just me indirectly criticising myself. It was that way for Something Better, too...

I also went to dig up my ancient copy of The Little Prince yesterday, and now I am absolutely in love with it. I think it's one of those books everyone should read at least once in their lifetime. It's so... amazing. I'm the worst book reviewer ever, so... all I'm going to say is: I feel like I understand life and love a little better after reading it.

Oct. 10th, 2014

det blir første gang på lenge

...I'm back to my usual ways.



I swear I can't stop looping this song.

It actually started out really innocently - because I've been learning some Finnish on Live Mocha today (as part of my procrastination routine), I went to listen to the Finnish version of Let It Go. Or try to, at least. I couldn't find it on YouTube... but eventually did find it on Tumblr. I don't like it much, though. I think Finnish has too many syllables to fit that well into the melody. Then I song-hopped to First Time In Forever in Finnish... and somehow ended up back at the Norwegian one.

I think when it comes to Frozen, I still love the Norwegian versions best.

So... yeah. My desire to learn Norwegian is back. I started a bit the last time (and even started a one-shot about a Norwegian guy... who I named Kjell... and who eventually became the Swede Kjell in Something Better, ahaha), but then got distracted and stopped.

I'm maybe still going to write the Norwegian one-shot, since it isn't about the same thing as the topic in Something Better, but it probably won't be anytime soon. I am, however, going to get back into learning the Norwegian language soon! After Finnish. One at a time.

Finnish is proving to be really tricky, though. :\ I think I'm more familiar with Germanic / Indo-European languages, and Finnish isn't within the same language family. So everything is so different. The only similarity is that it has much the same type of script, at least... And at least it's pronounced the way it's spelt. That's one of the things I love about Norwegian and Swedish, too. I'm looking at you, French

Ah, I have no idea why I'm so in love with the Nordic countries recently. I can't stop reading up on them, and I can't stop tweeting about what I discover either. Haha. So sorry. But it's really so intriguing. Languages are amazing.

Maybe I should have done a degree in Linguistics instead... Oh well, too late. Sigh.

Oct. 2nd, 2014

I'm gonna love you wherever I go



Something Better



Summary: It was only meant to be a fling. After all, who could fall in love in just six months?



Ohhhh, it's finally done! I swear, writing this one about drove me crazy. It was such a pain to write, mostly probably because it was way too close to my heart. I may have rushed the last few scenes, mainly because I was so sick of it and wanted it to end soon so that I could go back to writing my thesis (been putting it off for 2 weeks while I tried to finish this).

I'm actually really self-conscious about this story, so I'm just going to... yeah. It is somehow really embarrassing, since I feel my inner self laid pretty much bare. Ugh. Anyway...

I ended up learning lots of things about Finland, Finnish culture, and the language while writing this. It was really interesting. The next time I'm back in Europe, I'll try to visit Helsinki, I think. :D

On a sidenote, my one-shots are getting longer and my summaries are getting shorter. Hahaha. Oh, and the photo from the cover was taken on the plane while I was flying out of Sweden. It's one of my favourite photos out of all those I've ever taken.

And just for the heck of it, the view from Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh:



Here's the song the title was based on:



Still in love with this song.

And another song that I looped while writing part of the story:



This MV was definitely filmed at a German airport. Not sure if it's because all German airports look the same, or I've been there before, but it just looks soooo familiar...

FUN FACT: Both are Finnish bands! Gosh, so much Finnish love lately.

Well... I guess I should get back to my thesis-writing.

Sep. 22nd, 2014

a drop of romeo

Whoo! I've just gotten my new iPhone 6! :) Really happy right now (and itching to go install/transfer all sorts of things since I got the 128GB model which sounds pretty insane haha, I mean I could probably put my entire music library on my phone now!) but that's not the point of this entry.

I wanted to post to talk about some of my stories making it onto A Drop of Romeo! It's a fan site that collects and reviews Romance stories on FP. The site's pretty famous and has been around for such a long time. I used to look for stories to read on there, and I think it's really awesome that my stories have been added up there now. :D

Blue Eyes made it up on ADoR back in 2012 (and I suspect that had something to do with how many readers I got all of a sudden, haha). And then so did Hab Dich Lieb and Facebook Official, in 2013.

And I was recently informed that Fades in the Summer and Auld Lang Syne have both been added just this month too!

This is so awesome! And with such lovely reviews too. :)

(Ah, one thing that bothers me though is that it says that Nik went to China in the ALS review... I never explicitly said it was China when I mentioned Asia. I left it ambiguous deliberately, because I don't really want to lock it down to a specific location, even though anyone who knows anything about me would probably be able to guess where in Europe and where in Asia I'm referring to in the story, haha. Of course in leaving everything so vague, it's sort of up to the reader to infer where the story takes place, so I guess it's not wrong to imagine that it was China that Nik went to, when he left. I'd just like to point out that officially I have never stated that it was China. Also, imagine if Nik went to a Chinese uni for his degree... His studies would've been in Mandarin, no?! Wow.)

Oh, and since I'm talking about my stories and my new phone all in the same entry (heh), may I also say that the larger screen is pretty awesome for writing. I do 98% of my writing these days on my phone, on Google Docs, so the screen size is going to make things more convenient now. :D I hope they update the apps soon so that not everything looks so large. Everything just looks huge right now because most of the apps are still optimised to the old screen resolution...

Before I run off to play with my new gadget, here's a sneak peek of the very very beginning of the upcoming chapter for Auld Lang Syne. ;)

Though not much of a sneak peek, I'm afraidCollapse )

Oh yeah. And tomorrow is my birthday. Kekeke, this new phone is like an early birthday present, haha!

Aug. 23rd, 2014

fate fell short this time

Your Smile
(Fades in the Summer spin-off)



(Yeah, I was lazy with the cover.)

I promised to consider writing a spin-off a while back... Today I was hit by such a feeling of depression that I went and wrote it in a day. Haha. (Not to mention I was supposed to be working on chapter 2 of my thesis which is TECHNICALLY DUE TOMORROW)

I don't know... From the reviews I've gotten for Fades in the Summer, Dylan seems to be hated a lot. Why, though? I've never really understood. Dylan is my favourite character. He's flawed, but who isn't? Tara isn't any less selfish, I think. In fact, when I was writing Fades, I thought Tara would come across as an insecure, whiny character. For some reason, though, people are relating to her a lot. Pretty interesting.

I had to scan through Fades a bit to remind myself of the things already written so I wouldn't leave gaping plot holes in this one, but wow. After scanning through, I really feel like my writing style has gone all over the place. I have no idea what my style is anymore. I suspect my writing has been deteriorating for a while. I keep using adverbs and "just" and "a little" and "a bit" etc when writing ALS, too, I realise... Ugh. Maybe I need to read more books. Heck, I want to read more books (those books I bought at the sale a while back but have barely touched), but my major has ruined me for reading during my free time.

Right. I should get back to writing my thesis. School's barely started and I'm sick to the bone of it already. With everyone starting work or starting school recently, I feel like I'm the only one still sitting here, unmoving, unchanging... So restless. And so sick of grad school. I feel like I'm behind on getting on with my life. Everyone else is working, or living their dreams, or at least getting a step closer. And I'm still here, stuck here, grounded here until I'm done with my thesis. It's not even that I want to start work (I don't, not at all, I fear it will be absolutely boring), it's just that I feel so... stagnant.

May. 12th, 2014

something better

My Norwegian one-shot became a Finnish one-shot thanks to Eurovision. Maybe it will become a Norwegian one again in thanks to him. Like, why the hell would I want to base my male protagonist on him? But he's the only Finn I know, so it's not like I can base Aksel on anyone else.

Here are excerpts of the scenes I've already written. I have a feeling the one-shot is going to be a huge one if I ever do finish it. Maybe I won't. I don't really want to write it anymore. But I do want to finish it someday. Maybe when I'm not feeling so angry anymore.

I usually wouldn't post such spoiler excerpts, but since I may not finish it anytime soon, here goes.

...Okay, I realise I need to give some sort of introduction since the excerpts are so fragmented. Basically, the story is set in Edinburgh, Scotland. And the characters here are all international students on a one-semester university exchange programme. Which is why there are characters from all over the world.


Something Better

Summary: It was meant to be just a fling. After all, who could fall in love in just six months?


Excerpt 1 (takes place at a party)Collapse )

Excerpt 2 (takes place in an international/intercultural class)Collapse )

Excerpt 3 (takes place at another party/gathering)Collapse )

Excerpt 4 (takes place in Aksel's room - towards the end of the exchange period)Collapse )

Excerpt 5 (takes place when Emilie is back in Germany, at home for the summer)Collapse )

Excerpt 6 (takes place in Emilie's room, via Skype)Collapse )


...Well, yeah. This is literally everything I have written for the one-shot. (It also gives some insight into the chaotic way I write... haha.)

I started off wanting to write about an international romance but as I wrote it ended up becoming some kind of thing about relations in an international setting... Aksel isn't even in half of that first excerpt.

Also, a lot of these things really did happen. All of the characters that appeared here are based on real people that I know... and most of what they say are also based on real conversations. It's only now that I realise how many international friends I have (or had, since I think I don't talk to half of them anymore).

It is also only now that I realise how dangerous it is to be my friend. You inevitably end up representing your country in my stories somewhere along the way.

Sigh. I probably should stop acting so childish and continue writing the one-shot. Especially since it touches on issues that are very very close to my heart.

But... eh.

Apr. 15th, 2014

auld lang syne

I realise I end up posting an entry on LJ every time I'm trying to procrastinate. Although this time I started procrastinating by making a book cover for Auld Lang Syne... I posted the first chapter without a book cover, since I used the old picture for How To Get From Point A To B. So I just spent an hour looking through old photos of Europe to find a suitable one for the cover... and couldn't find one.

So I settled for this photograph of Königstraße. In the first chapter, this is where Nik stands under one of these 'ugly trees' and indulges in a moment of nostalgia.

Haha, how nostalgic.



Auld Lang Syne



Summary: When Nik left four years ago, their little group of six splintered shortly after. But now he's back, forcing a reunion between six people who could've been perfect strangers, but not quite. Temporarily goaded into close proximity, old hatchets get unburied and unresolved tensions come back into play. And, as Tamy comes to realise, four years can change everything but the things that matter.

I found my voice. “Welcome home.” I stood as I had all night, making no move to embrace him like the other girls had.

Nik stared at me for a long moment. “Thanks,” he said finally. Then softer, “I’m glad you came.”

“Yeah, well.” I wanted to look away, but those light blue eyes of his still had the ability to pull me in. Four years had changed everything but this. “Of course I came,” I said, even though my voice still sounded a little more bitter than I would’ve liked, “we’re all good friends here, aren’t we?”

I caught sight of Nadine’s glare from behind Nik and my eyes narrowed. She was deluded if she thought this little ploy of hers to keep Nik in the dark was going to work in the long-term. He was back for good, not stopping by for a vacation. He was bound to realise, eventually, that our little group had splintered over three years ago.

When I looked back at Nik, his mouth had twisted a little. Then he saw me looking and pulled the corners of his lips into a small smile. “Yeah,” he said, all traces of the grimace gone from his face, looking in all the world like he truly meant it, “Friends.”




I'm sorry this is part of the boring excerpt I posted on LJ last time, but only Chapter 1 of the story is up and anything else would be a spoiler. I have so many scattered scenes written, I have 15k words of the story right now, but Chapter 2 isn't complete yet. Strange, huh? I write in a strange way.

I'm really craving meat pie right now...

Maybe Too Late was the first chaptered story I ever posted on FP, and maybe because I already knew the entire trajectory the story was going to take, but I didn't feel all that pressured the last time. But now... For Auld Lang Syne, I'm feeling oddly stressed. Probably because I have been getting lovely reviews from lovely readers, and those who've reviewed seem to be pretty intrigued by it. I'm really worried that I won't be able to live up to these expectations. No point over-thinking it, though, I guess... Sometimes I think most of the stress I feel is the kind that I give myself. In a way, I'm pretty much a perfectionist. I hate feeling like I've messed something up or failed to reach a certain potential that I expect of myself.

Yeah, I sound like a right prat when I talk like that.

Anyway, this is my first attempt at a full-length novel and I'm really hoping to finish it. Of course, I get distracted and bored with things so easily, there's always the danger that I drop it before I finish it. I'm trying not to do that, though. I haven't been writing much lately, what with all the work and all, but I've been trying to reach my goal for Camp NaNoWriMo (30k words). I'll probably join the July one as well, and try to set a 50k word goal for that one. I'm not sure how long this story will be. I guess it will end when I have no more drama to write about. Haha.

Okay, I don't know why I came to do this. I have a bunch of huge things due every week over the next 3 weeks, so... Chop-chop!

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